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First of all, I would like to apologise for my slacking in the past few weeks. I have just been so busy with university and stuff – Post-grad/Honours is no joke! – But I am slowly getting my life back on track academically.
Also sorry this not a hair post (but that’s coming soon so get keen). Instead I have been inspired to blog to you beautiful people about self-confidence and self-love. These are two easy words to understand, but implementing them into your self-being is a whole different story. In the society we live in it has become easier for one to criticise themselves rather than compliment themselves. You can never please society whether you’re the skinniest girl in town, or the most fittest of them all.
I have been through the most in the 21 years of my existence trying to understand this idea of self-love and to say I am fully comfortable in my own skin, would be a lie. Society will always seems to find your insecurities and remind you why you can never be perfect. I think this is very problematic for boys and girls because loving yourself should not be a difficult thing, but in my opinion it is the most HARDEST thing I have ever dealt with in the past and now. People can tell you repeatedly how pretty you are, how you have the perfect this and the perfect that. But there is no point in them telling you all of this when you don’t believe it.
I recently received a direct message (DM) from one of my lovely followers who asked me to share tips on how to be confident and learning to love who you are. If only she knew how self-conscious I am about myself and the smallest details about my being. I have yet to master the whole concept of self-love. I don’t think I am the right person to be even asking about self-love, because I still don’t really know how it works. But I can share some tips which I have learnt along the way from others who are also on the journey of learning to fully love themselves.
List your best qualities: So often we are quick to pinpoint our worst features when we know that there are great qualities about ourselves. It is okay to love your smile and those freckles on your body. Better yet, it is okay to think you’re a greatly organised person or that you have a great singing voice. These are best things about yourself and you need to acknowledge those qualities about you, because they are what make you the amazing person that you are.
Surround yourself with positive auras: Surrounding yourself with positivity does more good than harm. When you are around positive people it shows in the mannerism from the way you talk and the way you act. You simply just have a better and greater outlook on life, because of those around you.
Take note of your accomplishments: It doesn’t have to be a great accomplishment like climbing Mountain Kilimanjaro which I sure some people have. Your accomplishment can be as small as making a new friend or taking a 5km walk. As long as you applaud yourself for achieving something great.
Challenge yourself: Try doing things outside your comfort zone and push yourself to higher heights. It can be a simple challenge such as taking a cooking class or joining an aerobics class. I’m sure after you have been through it you will be proud of the outcome and the mere fact that you accomplished something outside your comfort zone.
DO NOT compare yourself to others: I have yet perfected this tip myself, but it is something we need to work on. Yes we all wish we were Beyonce, or looked like that girl that we saw on our Instagram explore page. But comparing yourself to someone who is not perfect is not helping you at all. Imagine if we all looked and acted the same how boring life would. The word ‘beauty’ would have no meaning cause of how similar we all would look. You were made the way YOU are for a reason and your existence adds so much beauty to this world.
Compliment people in person: It is so easy to leave a comment on someone’s social media page whether it be on Instagram or Facebook telling them how pretty they are, but try doing it in person. Walk past someone and compliment them. I guarantee it will not only make you feel good about making someone’s day, but it will make them feel ten times better about themselves knowing that someone thinks they are pretty amazing.
Love yourself and take selfies: There’s no need for me to explain this self-love tip, but if I must just take a moment to love your face there aren’t any quite like yours. Well unless you have an identical twin, but even their faces aren’t identical.
Accept compliments: It is not a crime to accept a compliment. And the person giving you the compliment had to build up a whole lot of courage to tell you that you look amazing and for you to reply with something like “really, I don’t think so though” is a slap in the face for the person. When you start accepting compliments that’s when you also start loving yourself as a person. Speak to yourself, because you are listening.
Take the time to appreciate yourself: This is probably a difficult thing to do, but if you take it seriously it should make a huge difference. So take a deep breath, slow down and ask yourself this question: what are things that I appreciate about myself?
I won’t lie I am still battling with loving my imperfections and flaws. If I were to write my battles with social anxiety and self-confidence you would be reading a 20 page blog post, and I’m sure you don’t want that. But with each day it gets better than the previous one. I want us to create a society of confident and loving people, and not of self-hating. Especially, because it is not what God intended for us.